I am sending this message to document the uncooperative way my lender handled my financial hardship. Their handling of my financial hardship not only increased my financial stress but ultimately created a situation where foreclosure was the only result.

In November 2008 I refinanced our house with the bank – hoping to lower our payment and give us some time for my husband to find another job. The mortgage payment was 50% of my take-home pay. I never intended to be the only one paying the mortgage. My husband took a job which was supposed to make enough income to help with our monthly bills. But it didn’t work out for him.

In March 2009, I completed the bank’s paperwork to notify them of my financial hardship and be accepted to the Loss Mitigation department. I did not hear from the bank until June, 2009 when I called to check on the status of the paperwork and they asked me to send in the paperwork again.

In July, 2009, I realized we would have to downsize and sell our house. I contacted a realtor and we listed our house. We had no equity in our house and listed it as high as we could but she said the market was already getting depressed and we had no offers at the price of about $175,000. My mortgage was not more than the value of my house. I owed about $170,000. But we had no money for closing costs. At her recommendation, we listed it as a short sale. By this time, the bank had contacted me and accepted my situation in the Loss Mitigation department. I signed a Forbearance Agreement in September 2009.

In November 2009, we received on offer on my house for $165,000. We submitted it to the bank. My realtor checked with our Loss Mitigation rep, nearly every day about the status of the offer. The rep sometimes did not answer but when they did they only said it was under review. Several times the rep had to resubmit the offer because of paperwork she did not complete correctly. My realtor told the rep repeatedly that the buyers needed to know by the end of December if the offer was approved.

In January, 2010, the buyers withdrew their offer because the bank had still not approved the offer. I signed a third or fourth Forbearance Agreement in February, 2010. During this time I called the HOPE hotline and HUD to get advice. They told me I was doing everything I could to handle my situation responsibly and they said they would send a recommendation to the bank to continue with a short sale.

In March, 2010 I received another offer from an investor. My realtor said the investor was willing to negotiate so the offer could be approved. The bank continually misplaced the offer documents. In April, the offer had still not been approved. My realtor asked for another appraisal on my house. A rep from the bank called me and said he recommended that I give the bank the deed to my house. I told him I didn’t understand why since there was an offer on my house. He said giving the bank the deed would be better for the “investor”. What I did not know until then was that because I had an FHA loan, the bank would get the full amount of the loan regardless of what my house sold for. I explained that doing that was not in my best interest and the bank rep became nasty. His tone was threatening and I felt I was being bullied and I told the rep that was the case. I also told the rep that since the offer had already been submitted I thought we should go through with it. The rep said that if I went through with the short sale that I would lose the ability to give them a deed-in-lieu.

I asked my realtor if this was true. She said it was not. We asked several attorneys and they said the same thing. They told me I could submit a deed-in-lieu at any time before foreclosure. My realtor also asked me to just be patient and go through with the offer because the buyer would definitely buy my house if it got approved. During this time I also received another offer on my house by another investor. Since the offer price was lower than the current offer, the bank did not try to get it approved.

In March, 2010, at the advice of the investor, I filed a complaint against the bank with the Texas Department of Savings & Mortgage Lending. Unfortunately, they could not help me because the bank was not in Texas. I think the bank then decided to treat my situation without compassion.

In June, after many negotiations and calling HUD, the bank finally approved the offer. The closing date was set for the end of June but when the date came, the buyer did not show up, even though a title company had drawn up all the papers. A day later the buyer withdrew the offer. I asked then, if I could still submit a deed-in-lieu to the bank the bank and my realtor said yes.

I received another offer on my house in early July, 2010. We sent it to the bank for approval but a week later the buyers withdrew their offer. On July 22, 2010 I submitted the deed-in-lieu to the bank. The bank rep denied it. I called to find out why and the rep said I had lost my chance to do that in April when I went ahead with the short sale. The rep said you could not do both things. I explained that I had been advised by several attorneys and read online that that was not true. My realtor called HUD. The HUD rep said the bank rep did not know or understand the HUD rules. They told her the bank rep had lied to them about my situation so my realtor corrected the information. HUD said they did not want my house to be foreclosed. They e-mailed the bank to stop the foreclosure but the e-mails were ignored. The bank foreclosed on my house.

During this entire situation, the bank did not once try to modify my loan or assist me in any way so I could keep my house and make the payments. The bank was uncooperative from the very beginning of the process. I am afraid about the repercussions of this situation.

I am writing to not only document my situation but to tell others that despite what the media says, banks are not helping homeowners. If you think you are not being treated fairly or with common sense, you are not mistaken. There seems to be no external audit system which monitors banks to make sure they resolve financial hardship situations in a way that actually helps. The banks seem to be only interested in making a profit from those who are already struggling. If the bank had accepted the first offer on my house, everyone would have won.

In this journey I have talked to many people, financial advisors and attorneys, they have all told me I am not alone. Hundreds of hard working, responsible people are finding themselves facing similar situations and being treated similarly by the banks. The greatest gift has been the kindness and compassion I have heard by those I’ve reached out to. We cannot let these situations define us.